The fantroll I made for my friend Josiah Degraaf.
Your name is SOLOMN LUMNAT and you are going to TAKE OVER THE WORLD or die trying.
But You're not going to do it openly. That would be so dumb. It's WAY EASIER to control people who don't know you're controlling them.
You are an EXCELLENT RHETORICIAN with a flare for provocative examples which appeal both to logic, and your WITLESS AUDIENCE'S emotions, like hate and fear. Your SILVER TONGUE effortlessly crafts a winning face.
This isn't to say nobody sees through your clever ruse. One such is your DAMNABLE HOT MESS of a kismesis. The two of you have only two things in common: FIERY PASSIONATE HATELUST and a love of STORYTELLING. But of course that hypocrite writes only vignettes, an afront to the glory of your CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED NOVELS. Your adoring public just eats them up, along with your subtly hidden agendas.
Okay, you lied. You ALSO share a love of TACTICAL SIMULATIONS with the aforementioned hot mess, and in fact, introducing him to them was how the two of you met. You live for the THRILL OF COMPETITION, crushing your foes with your REMARKABLE FORETHOUGHT AND INTUITION.
One would think a schemer like you would live for the future, but you prefer wargames, and fiction in general, which is set in the DARK OLDEN DAYS of Alternia. The novels you write about them draw your readers into that grim bygone epoch with compelling tales of SWORD AND SORCERY.
Speaking of sorcery, you make a hobby of practicing the VENERABLE ART OF ALCHEMISTRY. You've easily mastered such pedestrian tasks as TRANSMUTING LEAD TO GOLD, and are currently concocting a formula for your very own PANACAEA. This is just one more step in your OBSESSIVE PURSUIT OF IMMORTALITY.
Your trolltag is glibTactician, and you meyespronounce the theyerd vowel, due to your strange accent.